Saturday, December 3, 2011

Top 5 Herman Cain Quotes and Rebuttals

Herman Cain, flanked by his wife Gloria.
By now you've heard that Herman Cain is officially out of the presidential race. This is tragic news for bloggers, but hey, we've still got Michele Bachmann. 

In the interest of parting shots, here are my favorite Cain quotes with bonus rebuttals. It feels kind of bad kickin' a guy when he's down, but....nah, it feels good.

"If you don't have a job, and you're not rich, blame yourself."  - Herman Cain addressing supporters of the Occupy Movement.
  • "If you cheat on your wife for over a decade, sexually harass multiple women, and don't know shit about foreign policy, blame yourself." - Me, addressing Herman Cain.

"Because of the continued distractions, the continued hurt caused on me and my family..." - Cain explaining his reasons for withdrawing from the race.
  • "It's your penis, stupid." - Me, explaining Cain's reasons for withdrawing from the race.

"We are building this campaign team like I would build a business. And that is, we are building it so far with no debt." - Cain on responsible campaign financing.
  • "In suspending his candidacy, as opposed to saying that he was quitting the race, Mr. Cain maintained his ability to accept money to pay for his campaign." - New York Times explaining why Cain chose to "suspend" rather than simply end his campaign. 

"Stupid people are ruining America." - Cain telling you what he thinks of you.
  • "True, but there is one less stupid person in politics now." - Me telling Cain what I think of him.

"I'm not a professional politician." - Cain stating the obvious.
  • "No shit." - Me.
  • "You think?"  - Me.
  • "Then, you can't be a professional president." - Me.


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